So my step mother has decided she is the boss of the house and has kicked me out, all because I took my bed cloths off and my room was messy.
My father sat and let this go on and we had a fight on the phone the second the door slammed.
I'm greatful to have friends that I can turn to, one asked her sister to look into getting rent allowence so i can leave this place I am forced to call home.
Jachem came home yesterday and is going tomorrow but seeing my best friend made things better.
At the moment life is in ruins.
Trying to get over a relationship that is the centre of my life by meeting my frinds girl has led to her being kicked from the group and me losing two friends.
My father hates me and I'm still madly in love with my ex girlfriend.
I have lost over €300 in the casino and all my passions are goin horrible so I ask myself, is it because I kissed my friends girl?
Life shouldn't be this hard, not at 19. I work every week and yet I am broke even when I don't piss it away in the casino.
I still think about you all the time and i still want to be with you. All I want is you because your warm loving hugs would mend my shattered world.
I know you are happy with me out of your life and thats fine, but you were my only happiness and i don't want to seem like an emo but suicide looks better and better everyday.
Today i got it into my head you are texting someone new, you are moving on with your life. You went on a weekend away and I think you met a guy. Who am I to tell you what to do and I shouldn't be jealous but I have never wished my life was over as I did and still do.
Please come back to me, I know you won't and you can't I don't know if you even read this blog but I still love you Ms.Bryan.
You really are my life and I not having you is harder and harder and I'm getting worse and worse.
Maybe I should just end my life. Do everyone a favour. My dad wouldn't have to kick me out there would be no more fights, friends and family wouldn't have to put up with me and you wouldn't have to worry about me. Not like you do anyway, why would you after what I did to you.
This is selfish I know but the only thing that can save me is you and your not coming back.
Sure who reads this thing anyway. you probably think I'm an emo or just looking for attention. Well then just another reason to end it all so you wouldn't have to read about my sob stories.
I'm sorry Alison, don't worry about me.
